Hello and welcome to part three of my deep dive into fashion stylist Allison Bornstein’s book Wear it Well: Reclaim Your Closet & Rediscover the Joy of Getting Dressed!
In this mini series I am unpacking Allison’s closet editing and three word methods to refine my personal style. So far, I have reflected on my personal roadblocks to feeling good in my clothes in Part 1, and edited my closet in Part 2. Read those first if you want the full story!
Are you a returning reader? Are you enjoying my read-along diary of Wear It Well by Allison Bornstein? If so, why not grab your own copy?!
(Canadian folks, this link gives me a teeny tiny commission if you click through and buy. Friends in other parts of the world, check your local Amazon store or bookstore.)
The Three Words
I’ve now organized and categorized my closet and spent some time playing with the next—arguably most ubiquitous—part of AB’s process: my three words. It took me a few iterations, much scribbling in notebooks, and a couple weeks of testing out outfits and jotting down what I loved and hated to get to my current three words.
And, they’re still in progress, in flux, as the season starts to think about changing and as I continue to pull unworn items from my closet.
Allison’s Three Word Method
The three words are descriptive adjectives that work together to define your own personal style. In the book, Allison unpacks so much helpful information about how to get to your three words including celebrity case studies, examples, and a word wheel. I’ll just summarize a few of the most important (to me) points she makes:
Word #1 is the word that describes the foundations of your wardrobe; in other words, the regulars that you really love to wear and reach for often.
Word #2 is an aspirational word, a word that describes the aesthetic you’re moving towards and would love to embody.
Word #3 is an emotional word that describes how you want to feel.
Also important to note:
The three words are meant to work all together at the same time, so it’s not about defining a single-word ‘theme’ each time you get dressed.
Over time, it’s likely that your words can change and evolve, so don’t overthink them or get them tattooed on your forehead or anything.
This part is also supposed to be fun and helpful, so if you land on words that make you feel restricted or uncomfortable in any way, you’re not done unpacking them yet.
Tension between the words is a great way to balance out the various parts of yourself. So if you feel pulled between being sporty and polished in different areas of your life, for example, your three words might help you experiment with bringing these facets together in your outfits.
Exploring My Three Words
When I first came across the three-word method on TikTok over a year ago, I experimented with several different words, eventually landing on classic, flirty, and effortless.
These words stuck with me for a while and embodied the jeans, t-shirts, blazers, (classics); feminine silhouettes and ballet flats (flirty); and unbuttoned Oxford shirts and rolled up sleeves (effortless) that I reached for again and again in seasons past.
But, style evolves over time, and eventually I started to feel that classic and effortless were somewhat redundant in meaning, and that flirty wasn’t as easily incorporated into my outfits the way it used to be.
In fact, the lack of tension or expressiveness in these words made me start to feel boring at best, and twee, at worst. I was ready to be more bold.
Probably not at all coincidentally, my whirlwind way-too-short-and-work-focused April trip to New York for a teaching conference exposed me to some of the very best fashion- and people-watching experiences of my life.
While most of my days were crammed inside a windowless Times Square conference room with other North American educators, my lunch breaks were taken up with frenetic walks to Fifth Avenue and speedy Ubers to Chelsea thrift stores. My evenings were spent squeezing in as much of the sights and the outer boroughs as possible. (Don’t worry, I’m coming back for you, Brooklyn).
In these brief excursions, I soaked in as much as I could, and what stayed with me was the boldness and juxtaposition of the styles I saw.
From hip-hop inspired streetwear to (maybe fake but who cares?) designer bags on the corporate fashion girlies, I was capital I inspired by the expressiveness of New Yorkers’ fashion.
So, now that I’ve properly read Wear It Well and organized my closet, gathered inspo, and taken stock of how I want my clothes to make me feel, I’m holding on loosely to three words that are right (for right now):
Word #1: Boyish // Menswear-Inspired
This is my foundational word. The word that describes the clothes I love to reach for on the regular: denim, trousers, sweaters, t-shirts, button-downs, sneakers, loafers.
And on the weekend or breaks: leggings, Adidas track pants, and Mets ball caps.
On Allison’s word wheel, boyish is categorized with other words that could have fit like sporty and casual.
When I started figuring out my three words, sporty was one I kept coming back to, but it simply did not resonate with who I am. I fear sports more than I fear spiders (please don’t ever make me test this claim), and describing myself as sporty just felt… wrong.
Graphic also could have been an option, but neither of these words captured the denim and button-downs that are on daily rotation.
Casual would have been lexically accurate, but it didn’t feel quite right for some reason. Remember, I am a word nerd (an English teacher) at heart, and deep-diving and over-analyzing words is literally what I went to school for. So, I joyfully kept researching and trying on new words.
Then, when I splurged on an Aritzia button-down a few weeks ago and went to try it on, fumbling with the buttons on the ‘wrong’ side, I realized that all my other button-downs are men’s. The same is true of my track pants, t-shirts, sneakers (although come on, can sneakers not just be unisex at this point?!) and lately, even my loafers.
This revelation inspired me to consider menswear-inspired as my foundational word, and have been tossing this one up with boyish, which feels like the perfect mix of sporty, graphic, casual, and menswear-inspired.
Something about boyish feels playfully bold, too, encapsulating the iconicness of the fashion I stanned in the streets of New York.
Word #2: French
The aspirational word. My very first Pinterest board in 2012 was chock-full of images of Clemence Poesy. Something about her feminine, undone, yet intentionally chic looks appealed to me at the time. And while all of my Pinterest boards have done an entire 180 since the early days (remember all the burlap and lace DIYS?!) I still adore her style.
It’s fair to say there are many other French fashion icons I still pin, including the classic Jane Birkin, edgy Francois Hardy, and coquettish Jeanne Damas.
Allison groups the word French with classic, effortless, preppy, and chic, which also could easily have worked as an aspirational style word for me. But French feels like it holds the perfect amount of tension with boyish, French style being both inherently feminine and sexy, yet built upon classic menswear looks.
For me, French comes across in jeans that are cropped just above the ankle bone, t-shirts or sweaters tucked just behind the belt buckle, ballet flats, undone blazers paired with denim, and the incorporation of classic patterns like stripes and leopard print.
Word #3: Polished // Elevated
This is the word that answers the question, How do you want to feel? And while I want to (and do) feel all kinds of ways when I get dressed, depending on the occasion—confident, elegant, feminine, bold, put together—I most easily landed on my third word when I asked, as Allison recommends, How do I not want to feel?
The answer is that I never want to feel too slouchy, relaxed, or undone. I have a midsize curvy body—a size 14-16—and when I pair too many oversized pieces together, I can lose my shape and end up feeling slovenly.
I’m decidedly not drawn to overly-bohemian looks that include layered jewelry or flowy tops paired with flowy skirts. Hoodies are simply not a part of my wardrobe because despite being comfortable, I just feel so much more like myself when I reach for a crew neck sweatshirt that gives the same coziness without the added bulk of fabric around the neck. And while funky fashion creators who pair dresses over jeans pull that look off fabulously, I know I would feel lumpy and uncomfortable if I were to try layering to that extent.
Part of this style influence is from my Nina, who looked polished and put together even when she was scrubbing the kitchen floor.
But I also wonder if the need for a minimalist element and pared-back polished finish to my looks comes from my ADHD brain. I can easily become overstimulated, so an abundance of texture, weight, or fussiness of any kind can easily ruin my day. (Literally true, I’m not even trying to be dramatic).
This goes for footwear, too. A comfy soft pair of slip-ons—ballet flats, loafers, Vans—or sneakers ensure that I’m not irritated or distracted by sore or painful feet.
For me, polished means pairing an oversized pair of track pants with a more fitted t-shirt or sweatshirt and lower profile sneakers. A puffy coat is worn with a more sleek outfit, and a slouchy outfit is paired with a tailored wool coat or trench.
What I love about this last word, too, is that it can be communicated through the other elements of getting ready that I love too: hair and makeup (and sometimes even nails!)
If wearing a more boyish outfit, I’m sure to spend a few extra minutes on a bit of makeup. A bright red lip or manicure adds a splash of polished refinement to any outfit, and a sleek low bun is perfect for the days I do reach for a more comfortable loose-fitting ensemble.
So, armed with my three words—boyish, French, polished—I’ve been experimenting with outfits, continuing to edit my closet, and making note of when I feel extra good and bad in what I’ve got on.
The process hasn’t been fully linear, to be honest. I have had to move a few things into my No pile because though I thought they were regulars, the truth is I was just overly attached. I’m also open to changing and playing with my three words if I feel like it.
I think next time I write in this series, I’ll share my getting dressed process or maybe even an outfits of the week journal. Is this something folks here would read??
In the meantime, I’d love for you to read along, share your own words, or ask me anything about closet editing and/or personal style. I’m by no means an expert, but I have devoted an extraordinary amount of time to thinking about these things!
Talk to you next time, friend.