Over the winter break, I finally treated myself to one of my favourite creator’s books, Allison Bornstein’s Wear it Well: Reclaim Your Closet & Rediscover the Joy of Getting Dressed.
I came across Allison ages ago because folks like Natalie Borton and Jill Lansky—who I love and look up to, style-wise—shared their experience working with her to define their three style words, and the approach really resonated with me. I have binged Allison’s content for years now, and in the fall her first book came out.
I’ve been working through the exercises, which include everything from organizing your wardrobe to narrowing in on a definition for your personal style. I’m pretty sure I’ve absolutely bored my best friends to death telling them how much I love this book and trying to get them to read it, so I’m going to start sharing here in the hopes it’s helpful, entertaining, or both!
I’m planning on posting as I work through each section.
Today I’m sharing my inspiration to dive deeper into my closet and getting dressed process, which was mirrored beautifully in the early chapters of Wear It Well…
Personal style in the 2020s:
Just before the pandemic, I wasn’t happy with myself at all. I was hanging on to clothes I’d bought for myself in 2017, which was the year I rejuvenated my entire wardrobe due to our international move home and the year I was at my lowest weight due to wedding dress shopping pressures.
We got married in 2018 and I finally let myself enjoy carbs, alcohol, and rest again. Naturally, in the years following, I put on weight.
By 2019, I’d reluctantly sized up in the basics but was clinging desperately to a host of clothes that no longer fit me. When I look at photos from that time, there were a lot of t-shirts, jeans, and cheap cardigans. Joe Fresh and Old Navy galore. Anything I owned and deemed as “nice” was ill-fitting on me back then. Despite being someone who deeply loved fashion and indulged in Vogue and Pinterest boards to no end, I didn’t feel like I deserved to dress well until I got back to a smaller body size.
The one time I did splurge and bought myself an oversized houndstooth blazer on sale at Nordstrom, I adored it. But because it wasn’t “flattering” of my wider shoulders, I didn’t wear it for years, though I stared longingly at it hanging in my closet often. I felt I just took up too much space when I put it on.
Looking back, I feel sad for that version of myself. She was so uncomfortable and unsure of who she was, and terrified to be seen or take up space.
When the pandemic started in 2020, just like everyone else, my whole world changed. Getting dressed for work was no longer a thing for a while, obviously.
And for at least a couple years, any opportunity to go out was a major occasion. During this time, I started to experiment with clothes that made me feel confident and that felt special, not just work appropriate. I wore the blazer.
This was also the phase of my life when I embraced thrifting, and secondhand clothes were a low-cost and low-stakes way to take small risks.
I never thought of this as a universal experience, but Allison acknowledges this saying, “During the COVID-19 pandemic, so many people underwent a revolution or a renaissance of reinvention and discovery, sometimes sparked by loss.” She goes on to write about how we re-evaluated self-care, priorities, and self-expression during this time. All of which was incredibly true for me.
From curating clothes for others…
In 2022, I started selling curated secondhand and vintage clothing in my shop alongside homewares and loved it. Behind the scenes that year, I was feeling more comfortable in clothes that actually fit me and went beyond basic tees and cardigans.
But the biggest boost of confidence came for me in early 2023 when I put myself out there by signing up for an all-clothing vintage and secondhand market in Vancouver for my shop, then called The Story Kept. (You might remember if you’ve been here a little while.)
That weekend, I personally loved every piece I’d curated for my racks, and quickly realized everyone else did too. With cool vintage folks left and right, I watched my hand-selected stuff fly into shoppers’ hands. (Side note: with deep regret, that was the day I sold a YSL silk blue and white striped button down. I now have a rule: the first to-die-for piece in my size I source in each category is a keeper.)
It was my best market weekend in history and the ultimate validation of what I think I knew deep down: I have a good eye for style.
Armed with the buzz of that weekend, 2023 became the year I started to feel great about getting dressed. I explored my personal style and with the joy that gave me, showed up online a little. I even felt good about it.
…to curating a fun wardrobe for myself
I want 2024 to be the year I really refine how I define and express myself in my clothes. When I look at my closet, I see a lot o
f exciting pieces, but all too often I still default to drab basics, and my accessories game isn’t as strong as I’d like it to be.
Though I have all the makings for a joyful closet, due to my years of experimentation and collecting thrifted pieces, I face overwhelm when getting ready in the morning sometimes. (I describe these moments as outfit meltdowns.)
I guess what I’m trying to say is that even though I’m armed with the right tools and mindset around dressing, I still don’t have it all figured out. This year, I’d like to try.
Starting with a deep dive into Allison Bornstein’s closet editing method, which I’ll post about asap!
For now, I’ve been listing pieces that no longer fit my own style in my Poshmark closet and by the time you read this I’ll be on my way to consign the rest of my edited castoffs. I’m going to write more and may or may not have made some chaotic videos of the editing process.
Let me know if you’ll be reading along with me, and make sure you subscribe here for the updates.
Here are a few more places to explore:
Read last season’s e-zine here. The winter edition will be coming soon!
Shop my closet here. If you’re not in Canada but something catches your eye, send me a message or comment on Instagram.
Come hang out with me on TikTok which is pretty much the only social media I can tolerate these days. If you need a little convincing, I have ten reasons here.
This was such a wonderful read! I love how your style journey has changed over the years!
I went through a bit of strange time last year... I started a new job in the February, which was office based. So I’d gone from a job of being on my feet all day, to now sitting all day, in which my body obviously changed. I got married in the summer and went through so many emotions of hating my new body (despite it not actually having changed that drastically, I’d only gone up one size), but the thought of being the biggest I’d ever been right before my wedding started to send me into a spiral. The reality was that my dress still fit and I adored it on the day. This all coming from an ex-wedding dress stylist, who knew that bodies certainly change and what not! And what brides see in the mirror isn’t what others see in reality.
Now I feel so much more accepting of where I am, because my body is clearly happy. But one thing I did find difficult was that all my favourite clothes I’d spent a long time finding, no longer fit comfortably. So I took to Vinted and started religiously searching for the pieces I loved and knew I still wanted to wear. The true joy of finding them in the next size up and now still being able to wear staple pieces I love has felt wonderful! 🤍