Hello and welcome to des lettres, which loosely translates from French to Letters. This is where I (Sarah Renée) write about fashion, personal style, thrifting, why I think nice things are important, and what it means to live a joyful collected life.
We’re coming up to one of my favourite days of the year: Labour Day Monday, in which I spend the day organizing my closet, planning work outfits, ironing and steaming stuff, and getting ready to be back in my classroom for the new school year.
For the last four years now (I actually had to just count that out on my fingers several times just to be sure—Fall 2023 already, wow!) I’ve stuck to this tradition. My best friend teases me about it, knowing I’ll decline any invitation to a last-minute cocktail hour in order to devote myself to my wardrobe.
It’s a day of chores, technically, but I also see it as a form of self-care, allowing myself to look after future me, carefully curating outfits that will help her feel and be her best in the fun but chaotic return to school.
Four years of this practice, which translates to a smaller weekly ritual each Sunday evening as the school year progresses, means I have a depth of experience now in building and editing my closet in a way that feels like me. Scrolling back through photos from the last few years, I can almost see the moment when I started to realize I could figuratively unsubscribe from trends and fashion shoulds as needed, and build a closet that felt self-expressive with room for a little fun.
And, speaking of subscriptions, just like every year before this one, I’m still finding my inbox and various social media feeds and for you pages bombarded with affiliate links, must-have lists, and how-to style guides. The other day I woke up to no less than three fall fashion guides, which is great because I follow size- and age-inclusive creators who make quality content. But, it’s also a lot… I know inpast found it overwhelming and it led to over-shopping.
So today I want to share with you a getting dressed philosophy I’ve developed to temper all the swirling fashion advice that I’m sure you’re consuming to some extent as well. It’s based on my own journey, which I’ve documented here and here.
I’m calling this philosophy Nothing is Out, well, mostly for funzies and because before I can really get into something, I need it to have a title.
So, what does Nothing Is Out mean?
The words nothing is out themselves are inspired by the “what’s in” and “what’s out” lists of fashion magazines and more recently blogs that I always found a little cringe (right along with the “who wore it best” articles that compare celebrity women who wore identical outfits to events). These days the words in and out might not be used as explicitly, but they show up in the form of MUST SHOP NOW and WEAR THIS NOT THAT TO UPDATE YOUR MILLENNIAL WARDROBE headlines.
It’s not that I don’t like to pay attention to what’s trending on runways, red carpets, or in magazines, because I do!
But prescriptive one size fits all lists to me feel tinged with a little too much mean-girl-ness for my liking. I resent the implications that we should discard our clothes and our own decision-making autonomy based on trends.
My feelings about all of this have grown more recently because the trend cycles are SO FAST. Even compared to the fashion magazine days of my teens or the Pinterest style blog era of my 20s.
Last summer, right when I started to explore TikTok, you may remember, everyone was going after the LuluLemon Everywhere belt bag to the point that it was sold out and back ordered across North America.
Just months later, long before the $60 mass-produced nylon bag everyone had just bought or duped was worn out, the same was happening with the (mass-produced nylon) Uniqlo crescent bag. I’m not immune to enjoying the drama of this type of hysteria from time to time, but at the very least I’m trying to pause and question it before I do.
What this all really means is that I am rejecting the idea that we should stop wearing an item of clothing or styling a piece in a certain way based solely upon opinions about fashion trends.
Instead, I believe we should replace those external shoulds with our own sense of personal style, and how our clothes make us feel. It’s not about no trends, but it’s deprioritizing them.
I know some dressers appreciate a set of fashion rules to follow, but it makes me a bit nervous. I find that lately when I’m out and about, I can actually tell who is watching the same TikTok videos as me, because they’re draped head to toe in viral styles.
It makes me wonder what that person would wear if they felt they had “permission” or knew they’d be accepted and look beautiful if they wore exactly what they wanted and curated a closet that reflected their individuality.
It makes me wonder if any of us can even really know what we want anymore as it gets harder and harder to filter out the noise from the internet.
So, this is all to say: I completely understand the desire to want a fashion rule book. But for me, personally, I need an antidote to the trend cycles and the viral sold out products. I need a wardrobe that allows me to feel like the best version of myself because when I do, I also move through the world and act accordingly.
So, rule-follower or rebel, if there’s something about all the getting dressed advice that just isn’t landing or making you feel good about yourself and your clothes, keep reading.
No Rules Rules
Here are a few tenets of my belief:
1. Trends may inspire, but don’t have to dictate, your fashion choices.
How we choose to dress is personal, contextual, and self-expressive. Diversity of body size, profession, geography, climate, culture, and personal preference matter. There are literally no fashion police, so wear what you want, adopting trends only when you feel like it.
I spent my summer in Leopard-print Crocs because I tried a pair of dupes on and found them comfy. They were available in leopard-print which is truly my self-proclaimed signature colour. I’m also currently seeking a secondhand pair of Ugg Tasmans because in the winter at work I literally change into slippers as soon as the school day ends, so why not incorporate a whimsical outdoor sole version. I chose to experiment with these trends intentionally and for the best reason of all: fun.
2. Iconic > Trendy
True personal style means aligning more closely with trend-making than trend-following, in my opinion. Consider your fashion icons. Mine include Jenna Lyons, Alexa Chung, and Jane Birkin. When I look back on their outfits, they’re consistently timeless. In fact, search anything that is currently “trending” and you’re likely to see the true icons wearing these styles long before they were cool.
Take a look at this 2017 reflection on Jenna Lyons’ style. Any one of these looks could be described more by her personality than they can by any era or a trend from that particular year. And look at the incorporation of certain “trending” looks like pops of pink, jumpsuits, and the “wrong shoe.”
3. Fashion advice is just one perspective, not a mandate
It’s just that: advice (by definition, non-mandatory recommendations based on someone else’s personal experience and ideas). No article, blog, or creator should be the ultimate source of what you should or must do or wear. In fact, start looking at the use of this type of language like a red flag. Instead, YOU are empowered to decide what makes you feel and look best.
Last winter, wearing my classic, comfortable, and favourite parka, I confidently stood off to one side in Value Village unfollowed a Millennial wardrobe updates account on the spot when a friend unknowingly texted me a link with a thumbnail told me Millennials: parkas are OUT). I’d encourage you to curate who you follow as much as you do what you buy and wear, too.
4. Personal style is more than a single item of clothing
It matters more how you wear it. Who What Wear said it better than me in this article, but essentially a pair of skinny jeans won’t make or break how stylish you look!
I personally dropped skinny jeans like they were hot (er, maybe I should lose that dated phrase too…) because I only ever picked them up for toxic fashion conformity reasons in the first place. But in other areas of my wardrobe, I don’t donate things I love or take them out of rotation just because they’re considered the wrong silhouette/length/cut/fill in the blank. Instead, I think about how I can style something differently if I’ve been wearing it for a few seasons or see a new way of wearing it.
4. Ask yourself how your clothing makes you feel above all else.
It takes work, and yes, a little more time, but it’s so liberating to detach from trends and develop your own criteria for editing your closet. Instead of looking to someone else to tell you, ask yourself how often you reach for a piece, if you feel confident and comfortable when you wear it, and whether you want to update it before taking it out of rotation. It means never letting go of something you want to wear because you should.
An example of this is my classic leopard print. I’ve always felt drawn to the pattern, from big block prints on coats to smaller details on my aforementioned Crocs. Over time, I’ve found different ways of incorporating it into my wardrobe, though as a trend it has cycled in and out a few times. It feels like a signature part of my style, and throwing on a leopard print detail gives any of my outfits a sense of whimsy and boldness.
5. Fashion is enjoyed best when approached with a spirit of fun and creativity
It actually hurts my heart to think of the women who felt confident and happy with their skinny jeans only to turn on the internet one day and be told they look “cheugy” and have to change.
Our clothing is the icing on the cakes that are the beautiful, complicated, creative, amazing humans that we are. And if fashion and trends are hurting our personhood and our planet, it’s the former that we have to change, not the latter.
What are your thoughts on my no rules rules? Do you have any of your own? I’m always curious how other everyday people are approaching their sense of style and navigating the world of clothes.
Okay?
Are we good? Now that we know fashion is meant to be personal, expressive, and joyful, we can go on talking about it without any sense of pressure or shame.
Without knowing it in words, I think I’ve been subscribing to this way of dressing for a few years now, and I wholeheartedly support you on your journey to figure out what you just feel like wearing too.
I know some of you love a rulebook to follow, so consider choosing this one and tuning out the noise that attaches all too much meaning to the capitalistic concept of trends.
You can find me writing about clothes and more here on Substack and documenting the process over on TikTok and Instagram.
If you’re here in Canada, you can also shop my closet here where I frequently share preloved clothes from my own wardrobe as well as quality pieces I source on my adventures here in the PNW.
I love this Sarah! I apply the same 'non-rules' to my interior design studio, as soon as a client says 'should I, or my mother in law said X should go with Y' haha I am like 'Ok, hold on lets go back..' Whilst I do then apply my theoretical knowledge in terms of materials and colour, the "rules" are so broard and various in terms of their application that they become more like blury frameworks anyway. Love the way you look at fashion, it is an area I have struggled with, more so since becoming a mum, but I am always told that interiors and fashion are besties like blue & green but for me that is not the case at the moment, as such I will head your advice and create my own rules - thank you! Lis x