Beautiful Moments from My High School Classroom

and why teenagers deserve our respect and kindness

Mar 24, 2024

A note before we get started: Today I am writing about teaching. If you know me well already, you’ll know I love teaching. I spend many of my hours doing it, and it informs a lot of things about me like the way I get dressed Mon-Fri and why I believe it’s important to have nice little things like fashion and beauty in my life to balance out the heaviness of work. I don’t always write about teaching, but I enjoy it, and I hope you enjoy reading it, too.

Why don’t we love our teenagers the way we do our toddlers?

In passing, recently, I’ve noticed some flippant comments made about teenagers. In the comment of a video I posted about work the other day, in conversation with a colleague who does not understand for the life of him why I would choose to work in an alt program when teaching “regular” teenagers is already “hard enough.”

I see it in other contexts too: when shopkeepers look at the kids if we go in a store on a field trip; when they’re treated poorly by employers in their first jobs; when authority figures can fail to see the good people beneath teens’ inevitable less than good choices.

I often tell my husband (who isn’t a teacher) that to truly understand my work, he’d have to be a fly on the wall in my classroom, to see the maddening moments all jumbled up with the heartfelt ones and really comprehend what a privilege it is to work with young folks.

So today I want to share with you five* beautiful moments I’ve witnessed in my high school classrooms over the years. Many of these moments come from our alt program, where my students who have faced and overcome hardships of all kinds yet are often seen as the “scaries” or “riskiest” kids in the school system. To me, that makes these moments all the more beautiful and important to share.

Four Beautiful Moments from My Classroom in No Particular Order

Gentleness in an unexpected pairing. Two students were sat together at the front of the classroom. One bouncy extrovert because he needed to be separated from his friends; the other more vulnerable individual because he chose that seat as far away as possible from other students. The latter has a developmental disability and did not usually feel comfortable around his peers.

During silent work time, they shared a pair of wired earbuds (a sweet gesture in and of itself) listening to music each with one ear in. When the burlier, fidgetier student accidentally jerked his partner’s cord out of place, he noticed and wordlessly reached over and replaced the earbud in his desk-mate’s ear. Neither student said anything to each other, but the tenderness of the exchange was poignant for me, showing a simple act of care and self-awareness.

Unofficial authenticators. My students often ask me what I do on the weekends. They imagine adulthood as a non-stop party filled with all-nighters and fast cars and infinite freedom. I try to gently reality check them and be a good role model by telling them about the joy I find in the more mundane like board games, early bedtimes, and dinner parties. They’re usually mortified by my 9pm bedtimes and lack of going clubbing—something that they can’t wait to do when they’re of age—but not when it comes to one of our shared interests: thrifting and vintage shopping! Yes, Gen Z/Alpha/whatever you want to call them are avid secondhand shoppers and my class and I will often talk about our latest finds.

I recently shared with them my absolute score, the North Face puffer coat I thrifted, but admitted I hadn’t yet confirmed it was real. They begged me to see it and then made me pass it around 😂 and two of the more proficient stylists in the class whipped out their phones and compared all the details, confirming that what I had was the 1996 Retro Nupste Men’s jacket. They knew all the tricks and the best websites to check on! They were proud of me for finding something so ‘cool’ and I was proud of them for their interest in something so wholesome. If the teens of today have their dark side (and I know better than many that they do), let’s not forget to acknowledge the ways they are soooo much better than generations preceded them.

Acts of service. I have a tricky commute to school some days, and last winter an unexpectedly early snowfall started on my way in to work 🥶😭. I lamented to my colleague when I got to school that I wasn’t even sure if my tires were safe enough for me to get home should it keep snowing. At the beginning of class, one student (who I’d seen earlier) was missing at the start of the morning period. I made a note of it, hoping he was alright. He was a responsible student, typically one to be found in the school’s auto shop rather than wandering the halls.

Ten minutes into class though, he shuffled in covered with sleet and snow. He proudly announced that he’d overheard my conversation, and wanted me to know my tires were in fact safe to drive with. He’d gone outside and checked in the staff parking lot for the snow and mud symbol on my tires and wanted to reassure me right away because he knew I hated driving in the snow.

Extending friendship. Before class on the first day of school, a new student tearfully admitted to us that he had never had a friend before, and was painfully nervous about the social dynamics of our program. I reassured him, and then carefully executed the low-risk ice breakers prepared for students to get to know one another. The first activity had students chatting in pairs and then introducing their partner to the rest of the class saying, Hi my name is … and this is …

Much to his horror, our shy new student’s assigned partner volunteered their duo to go first. I watched him shrink in his chair, wondering if he’d bolt, choosing to drop out rather than be the first to talk publicly in a class. But his partner kindly spoke first, loudly ad-libbing the script to say, Hi, my name is … and this is MY FRIEND … His shrinking partner blossomed in that moment, and went on to become one of the most socially-integrated members of our community. What’s more, the rest of the class added my friend to their little intros as well, bringing a fun sense of connection to the whole room.

Modeling vulnerability. In my classroom, we will sometimes get in circle which means we put our chairs in front of our desks and sit in a circle for morning check-ins, sharing, or discussions. At first, every class hates this. It’s by design more vulnerable than sitting with furniture between us, we’re physically closer, and everyone is invited to speak at least once, though they always have the right to pass. But in time it becomes somewhat of a sacred space where conversations can transcend curriculum.

This year, a student with what the kids would call clout, one who has been described by staff and students alike as having an ‘intimidating’ presence, set the tone for the rest of our circles right at the start. When asked to share anything on our minds that morning, he volunteered to take the talking piece and go first. He pulled off his hat that was shading his eyes, and shared uncharacteristically shyly that he was feeling really embarrassed by his new haircut. Peers chimed in to tell him it looked great and not to worry, shared their own embarrassing haircut stories, and then went on to share from the heart.

*Today’s post was originally going to be ten little anecdotes, but I shortened it to five as I just have so much to say. If you like what you’ve just read, let me know or share with a friend. I’ll continue telling these types of stories in a future issue.

In conclusion, the kids are alright

I turn to my memories of these moments on the days my teenagers are driving me crazy, and maybe you can file these little stories away if you sometimes worry about the future of our world as well. It won’t be long before these young adults are just adults, so I think it matters how we treat them and teach them and model for them how to see themselves.

I’d love to write the next five stories in a future post. Let me know which one of these stood out to you the most.

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